So after awhile taking a break from the whole dating scene I have decided to put myself “back on the market.” Which has meant, among other things, reactivating my online dating profile and in fact signing up for a new dating service. (Yes, I’m not Jewish. But hey, as I’ve said before, I seem to like Jewish girls … and I figured I’d just mix things up, after trying other other sites).
Anyway, let me preface this by saying that I’m sure by saying that I’m sure my online dating profile (here’s mine on okcupid) has its flaws too. And I’m sure that there are stupid things guys say on their profiles that turn women off. (In fact, please post examples to comments). However, I don’t browse guys’ profiles so I can’t really talk about that. Here, though, are some of the things I’ve noticed as cliches while browsing women’s profiles:
- “I try to live life to the fullest…” Okay, I appreciate the sentiment. But this is such a cliche now. If you’re really trying to live a full life, doesn’t that include originality? As they say in journalism, “show, don’t tell.” Explain to me how you’re living such a full life! Give examples! And stay away from tired terminology.
- “I’m as comfortable in X as I am in Y.” As in, I’m as comfortable in an evening gown as I am in jeans … I’m just as comfortable at a dive bar as a fancy restaurant. (Other examples of this) Artist Jonathan Harris, noting the popularity of this construction, told the NYT City Room blog: ““People think contradictions are sexy, so they try to describe themselves as having contradictions.” However, this formula is again, a total cliche by now. And really: do most women find evening gowns (or dive bars) uncomfortable? I don’t know of any that do.
- “I try to take advantage of all NYC has to offer…” Well … New York City is actually a pretty big frickin’ place, with lots to see and do. Even if someone was unemployed, I really don’t think he or she could take advantage of everything it has to offer, from learning to tango to catching Rangers games to playing chess in the East Village to taking classes at NYU to going clubbing until 4 a.m. … Even starting to take advantage of it all would take like five or six lifetimes. And really, most of us I think stay in our little routines and just do a couple different things we’re passionate about. Tell me what they are.
- “No players!” Or no guys who “play games.” This is odd, because you’re basically saying that the last few guys in your life weren’t interested in a serious relationship with you. But really, the image you should trying to project is that you’re so hot, you have to beat guys off you with sticks. Or at least that you have no problem meeting people in “real life.” Also: does any guy think of himself as a “player” or someone who plays games or toys with women’s hearts? I doubt it. I think most of us, male or female, would like to meet someone we’re so ga-ga over we’d marry him or her in an instant. Unfortunately life is rarely that simple. If you’re looking exclusively for a serious relationship, just say so. (maybe preferably in a light-hearted way?)
Anyway. Tell me your pet online dating peeves!